Kevin Copeland: Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourselves. Look, all we gotta is if, if, if.
Marcus Copeland: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. "We?" Kevin, this ain't about "we." It's never been. It's about you. You come up with some stupid idea and I'm dumb enough to go along with it. And look where its gotten me, Kevin. I just lost my wife and my job because of you. So, don't tell me about "we" no more, all right?
Agent Vincent Gomez: So, who do you think wore those panties you were sniffing? Kevin or Marcus?
Agent Jake Harper: Gomez, l told you. L was looking for DNA.
Section Chief Elliott Gordon: Oh, yeah.
Agent Jake Harper: What are you laughing at, "Denzel"?"Oh, what a beautiful chocolate man!" hahahaha.
Section Chief Elliott Gordon: You guys got some work to do?
Latrell Spencer: Oh the deception. The betrayal. Man you deceived me.
Marcus Copeland: Look man.
Latrell Spencer: Negro please. Didn't any one tell you that this was an all white party, huh? Someone get this jiggaboo away from me.
Kevin Copeland: I'm gonna have a BF.
Marcus Copeland: Oh, my God, she's gonna have a bitch fit.
Hotel clerk: No, don't d-d-d-don't have a, a, a BF now.
Kevin Copeland: I wanna speak to your supervisor! Better yet, I'm gonna write a letter.
Marcus Copeland: You, are in big, trouble.
Kevin Copeland: Dear Mister Royal Hampton. I am a white woman, in America.
Marcus Copeland: Look King Kong. Why don't you take you and your "1980 pick-up lines", climb all the way up to the top of the Empire State building, beat on your big old monkey chest and then jump off? Excuse me.