Coach Carr: Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up. Kiss, just don't do it, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.
Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
Weirdly religious child: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle...so that Man could fight the dinosaurs... And the homosexuals.
Chorus of siblings: A-men!
Aaron: Your face smells like peppermint.
Cady: Wait Regina, I didn't mean for this to happen!
Regina: To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!
Cady: Wait Regina, just listen!
Regina: No! Do you know what everyone says about you? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak that's a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c...[gets hit by a bus.].
Cady: Regina, wow, you look really beautiful.
Regina: I'm wearing a spinal halo.
Cady: Look, I'm really sorry about the bus. I feel like it's all my fault.
Regina: Stopping making this about you. I'm the one that got hit by the bus.
Cady: I'm really sorry about all the other stuff too.
Regina: Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... And I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.