Mean Girls (2004)

Regina: I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... So, just promise me you won't make fun of her! (00:01:00)

Damian: Health, Spanish... You're taking 12th Grade calculus?
Cady: Yeah, I like math.
Damian: Eww. Why?
Cady: Because it's the same in every country.
Damian: That's beautiful. This girl is deep.

Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!

Janis: We gotta crack Gretchen. Once we crack Gretchen, we crack the lock on Regina's whole dirty history.
Damien: Say crack again.
Janis: Crack.

Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Mr. Duvall: Miss Smith, why would Regina refer to herself as a "fugly slut"?

Student: Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?
Janis: Your mom's chest hair!

Mrs. George: Hey, you guys! Happy hour is from four to six!
Cady: Um, is there alcohol in this?
Mrs. George: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house.

Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Lea Edwards: She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... In Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane...
Jessica Lopez: - And he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... It was awesome.

Cady: She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.
Janis: I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.

Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!
Cady: Well there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?
Cady: No. Anything else?
Karen: Well, I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well, they can tell when it's raining.

Cady's mum: Where's Cady?
Cady's dad: She went out.
Cady's mum: She's grounded.
Cady's dad: Are they not supposed to be let out when they're grounded?

Short Girl: Hey, get out of here.
Damian: Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!

Cady: And they have this book, this "Burn Book" where they write mean things about girls in our grade.
Janis: Well what does it say about me?
Cady: You're not in it.
Janis: Those bitches.

Janis: What is that smell?
Cady: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
Janis: You smell like a baby prostitute.
Cady: Thanks.

Gretchen Weiners: Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only one that knows about her nose job. Oh my God, pretend you didn't hear that!

Cady: Wow. Your house is really nice.
Regina: I know, right?
Gretchen: Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.

Janis: Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?
Cady: They wanted me to get socialized.
Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.
Cady: What are you talking about?
Janis: You're a regulation hottie.
Cady: What?
Damian: Own it.

Coach Carr: At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you *will* get chlamydia. And die.

Cady: I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.