Iris Henderson: I've no regrets. I've been everywhere and done everything. I've eaten caviar at Cannes, sausage rolls at the dogs. I've played baccarat at Biarritz and darts with the rural dean. What is there left for me but marriage?
Iris Henderson: You're the most contemptible person I've ever met in all my life.
Gilbert: Confidentially, I think you're a bit of a stinker, too.
Gilbert: Come on, sit down, take it easy. What's the trouble?
Iris Henderson: If you must know, something fell on my head.
Gilbert: When, infancy?
Gilbert: Never climb a fence if you can sit on it.
Miss Froy: I never think you should judge any country by its politics. After all, we English are quite honest by nature, aren't we?
Gilbert: Can I help?
Iris Henderson: Only by going away.
Gilbert: No, no, no, no. My father always taught me, never desert a lady in trouble. He even carried that as far as marrying Mother.
Charters: You can't expect to put the two of us up in the maid's room.
Hotel Manager: Well don't get excited. I'll remove the maid out.
Charters: If only we hadn't missed that train at Budapest.
Caldicott: Well, I don't want to rub it in, but if you hadn't insisted on standing up until they'd finished their national anthem.
Charters: Yes, but you must show respect, Caldicott. If I'd known it was going to last twenty minutes.
Caldicott: It has always been my contention that the Hungarian Rhapsody is not their national anthem.
