50 First Dates (2004)

Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups.
Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch.

Henry: Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool! And if that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that.
Ula: How do you think I get the dolphins to do double-flips and play with the white kids?

Henry: Can I ask you guys something? What's gonna happen down the line? Someday she's gonna wake up and look in the mirror and notice her face's aged ten years overnight.
Marlin: You know something, Henry? I worry about that every day of my damn life.

Henry: Hi. Sorry for the delay. Should be a few minutes.
Lucy: No problem. No worries.
Henry: Where are you coming form? Breakfast?
Lucy: Yeah.
Henry: How was it?
Lucy: I had waffles. They were delicious.
Henry: I like making little houses out of waffles.
Lucy: You do?
Henry: That's my thing. What's your name?
Lucy: Lucy.
Henry: Hi, I'm Henry.

Henry: See what happens when you play with sharks.
Ula: Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts.

Henry: I bet you twenty bucks, I can get her to have breakfast with me again.
Nick: You're on.

Dr. Keats: All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first.
Henry: That's my joke.

Henry: I need you to get me two fish from the barrel. Now.
Alexa: Okay.
Henry: Just hang in there.
Alexa: Here.
Henry: It's gonna be all right. That's a little warm. Go to the bottom of the barrel please. Okay, there. That's good. Thank you. Come on, buddy. Take it. Take it.
Alexa: He's not responding.
Henry: I know, Alexa! Sorry I smacked you with that. You needed the fish-slap to calm down. Do you understand?
Alexa: Yes.
Henry: Are you calm?
Alexa: Yes. Fish-slap calm me.

Dr. Keats: And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to our most distinguished clinical subject: Tom.
Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.
Henry: Henry.
Marlin: Marlin.
Doug: Doug.
Lucy: Lucy.
Ten Second Tom: Hi. Oh, those are cool flip flops. Where did you get them?
Doug: You like those? It's interesting story. I was over on the North Shore the other day.
Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.
Henry: Henry.
Ten Second Tom: Hi.
Marlin: Marlin.

Dr. Keats: Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.
Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible.
Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.
Ten Second Tom: Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Hi. I'm Tom.

Henry: Do you have any idea who I am?
Lucy: No.
Henry: No. That sucks.

Dr. Keats: Sometimes I wish my wife had Goldfield Syndrome. That way she wouldn't remember last night when I called her mother, a loud obnoxious drunk with a face like J. Edgar Hoover's ass.

Lucy: What are you doing?
Henry: Nothing, I was just getting some lint off for you.
Lucy: You were going for a feelski.
Henry: All right, I'm sorry... But this is like the twenty third time we've made out already and... they're getting blue.

Henry: Pardon me. Sorry to interrupt, but I notice we were both eating alone and I thought perhaps I could sit with you, maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi for your waffle house?
Lucy: Oh, that would be nice, but I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry.
Henry: You're making up a boyfriend so you can get rid of me?
Lucy: No. I'm not.
Henry: What's his name then?
Lucy: Ringo.
Henry: Is his last name, Starr?
Lucy: No. McCartney.

Patient #1: Do you know who that guy is?
Patient #2: Dude, I don't even know who I am.

Dr. Keats: It could be worse.
Lucy: Yeah? How?
Dr. Keats: I think you should meet ten second Tom.

Henry: Okay, this is her. Start beating me up. Make it look good.
Ula: Give me your wallet. Okay, haole, what do you think? You can come to this island, eat our pineapple.
Henry: Help me! Not so hard. Take it easy.
Ula: Try to bang our women. Making my sister clean your hotel room.
Henry: Okay. What does that have to do with this? Relax. Hey! Hey! Help me, please.
Ula: Stupid haole.

Update Video: April: Snoop quits weed.
Update Video: May: Snoop back on weed.

Marlin: Doug, once again, off the juice.
Doug: It'th not juithe. It'th a protein thake.

Lucy: Yeah, that's right. Take that! And that! And that! And that! And that.
Henry: You got him. You got him. Enough. Enough.
Lucy: Are you okay?
Henry: Yes.
Lucy: Okay, I'll be right back. Hey! Come here.
Henry: No, no, no. I think he's had enough. I'm sorry.
Ula: My eye.
Henry: You got him.
Lucy: Not good enough.
Ula: Oh, Kamehameha.
Henry: He learned his lesson.