Reuben Feffer: Ahh... rat in the house.
Polly Prince: That's not a rat, that's my ferret.
Reuben Feffer: You don't know what it was like for me growing up. I had a mother who made me afraid of everything.
Polly Prince: Well, big deal, Reuben, my dad had a whole second family.
Reuben Feffer: What?
Polly Prince: Yeah, on Long Island. He had a wife, and kids, and a golden retriever.
Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.
Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
Reuben Feffer: I don't know what that means.
Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.
Reuben Feffer: You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.
Reuben Feffer: You know, they really should tell you if they're gonna just let Komodo dragons run loose around the hotel.
Reuben Feffer: I know that I have a.013% chance of being hit by a car on my way home. Or a one in 46,000 chance of falling through a subway grate. So I try to manage that risk by avoiding danger and having a plan and knowing what my next move is. And I guess you don't exactly live your life that way. Yeah... which is great, but I'm not gonna ever be a dirty dancer, and I don't eat food with my hands, and I really like you, but I just don't think this is gonna work out.
Claude: Luban! Look me in my eyeball. I treat her like my own flesh and blood.
Reuben Feffer: What did you do to her? Did you mess around with her oxygen tanks or something?
Claude: I did nothing, Luban.
Reuben Feffer: My name is not Luban! It is Reuben.
Claude: Look, look we had a scuba, we drink some white wine, we talk about life and we cannot help it. It is like love at first sight. She make like the fire in my trouser.
Irving Feffer: It's not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It's about the ride, for Christ's sake. There is no point in going through all this crap, if your are not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what... when you least expect something great might come along. Something better then you even planned for.
Sandy Lyle: Raindance.
Sandy Lyle: Check out her expression - she's terrified.
Reuben Feffer: She's smiling.
Sandy Lyle: I'm a student of acting, Ruben - she's fakin' it. The woman got spooked, she needed to explore, which is exactly what you're gonna do - you've been given the gift of freedom, don't turn you back on that.
Reuben Feffer: I don't want freedom, Sandy, I wanna be married.
Polly Prince: I've been living my life, okay? I've been in good relationships and I've been in shitty ones... and I've moved alot... and I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I've been lonely... and that is what I've been doing. Which is a lot more then I can say for some freak, who thinks he's gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts.
Reuben Feffer: Since we have been together I have felt more uncomfortable, out of place, embarassed, and just physically sick then I have in my entire life. But I could not have gone through that, I could not have thrown up 19 times in 48 days if I was not in love with you.
