Dreyfus: What about the maid?
Clouseau: The maid?
Dreyfus: Was he jealous of her too? He strangled her.
Clouseau: It is possible that his intended victim was a man and that he made a mistake.
Dreyfus: A mistake?.. in a nudist camp?
Clouseau: Nobody's perfect.
Dreyfus: Idiot nincompoop lunatic.
Dreyfus: Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world.
Clouseau: Facts, Hercule, facts! Nothing matters but the facts. Without them the science of criminal investigation is nothing more than a guessing game.
Maria Gambrelli: You can have one of my cigarettes.
Clouseau: Oh, thank you.
Maria Gambrelli: You have it in backwards.
Clouseau: Oh... it tastes very bad that way.
Benjamin Ballon: I admit to the affair. But, to kill for her? Would you kill for her?
Clouseau: Of course! Eh, not.
Clouseau: Well... that just goes to prove what I have said all along.
Dreyfus: What you've said, Clouseau, qualifies you as the greatest prophet since Custer said he was going to surround all those Indians.
Dreyfus: If someone has been murdered here, please let it be Clouseau.
Clouseau: Those were innocent bystanders. The murderer was after me. Fortunately, he missed.
Dreyfus: Fortunately is not the word.
Clouseau: Careful, Monsieur, with me! Do not tangle with me! I'm a trained expert in karate! My hands are lethal weapons.
Maria Gambrelli: Promise me.
Clouseau: What darling?
Maria Gambrelli: Afterwards, you will not smoke.
Clouseau: I give you my word as an officer and a gentleman. Also a policeman.
Dominique Ballon: Well, shall we settle this thing now or do you intend making me late for the recital?
Benjamin Ballon: We can't just fire her. She's given us no cause.
Dominique Ballon: Cause? We are up to our necks in dead bodies! What are you waiting for, the last act of Hamlet?
Benjamin Ballon: If you are going to compare the Ballon household with a Shakespearean tragedy, I suggest that Macbeth would be more appropriate.
