Pete: Bingo... Did you say bingo like the game in church basements?
Beaver: Well there's trim there.
Pete: Oh, Beaver.
Joe 'Beaver' Clarendon: Jesus-Christ-bananas, some fuckarow this is turning into.
Colonel Curtis: The men call the red stuff "Ripley", after the broad in the Alien movies.
Joe 'Beaver' Clarendon: I wish Henry was here.
Gary 'Jonesy' Jones: He's a shrink, not an internist.
Joe 'Beaver' Clarendon: He went to med school. Did you?
Gary 'Jonesy' Jones: ...I thought about it.
Colonel Curtis: Do you think I'm crazy, Owen?
Captain Owen Underhill: A little bit.
Gary 'Jonesy' Jones: Pittsfield's a better place to be from, than go back to.
Dr. Henry Devlin: Sometimes we have to kill, but our real job is to save lives.
Joe 'Beaver' Clarendon: Here's to Duddits... our dreamcatcher. Wish he was here.
Pete Moore: To the Duds.
Dr. Henry Devlin: To Douglas Cavell.
Gary 'Jonesy' Jones: To Duddits.
Dr. Henry Devlin: Where are you, Jonsey? Pick up the phone. Call 1-800-HENRY.
Gary 'Jonesy' Jones: I'm filing that in the "Who Gives A Shit" section of my Memory Warehouse.
Colonel Curtis: Come with me, Owen... I'll show you things you'll wish you'd never seen.
Pete Moore: Henry, if we die before you get back, promise you'll tell everybody she wasn't my date.
Gary 'Jonesy' Jones: Fuck you.
Mr. Gray: I know what that expression means. I've studied the foul language section of your memory warehouse. Rather distasteful, I must say.
Gary 'Jonesy' Jones: How about this, Mr. Gray? Eat shit and die.
Colonel Curtis: Those poor schmucks... they drive Chevrolets, shop at Wal-Mart, never miss an episode of Friends. These are Americans. The idea of slaughtering Americans... it just turns my stomach.
Pete Moore: Motherfucker tried to bite my dick off, Jonesy. I always thought it'd be my ex-wife did that.
Joe 'Beaver' Clarendon: You don't suppose he got exposed to radiation, do you? I saw that once in a movie. Guy ended up bald as Telly what's-his-fuck.
Young Beaver: Hey, you don't wanna see the homecoming queen's pussy? Don't come.