Hedwig: How did some slip of a girly boy from communist East Berlin become the internationally ignored song stylist barely standing before you?
Hedwig: Love the front of me, honey.
Hedwig: It's a car wash, ladies and gentlemen.
Tommy: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour?
Hedwig: No, but I... I love his work.
Tommy: Oh, God, oh, Hedwig, when Eve was still inside Adam, they were in paradise.
Hedwig: That's right, honey.
Tommy: When she was separated from him, that's when paradise was lost. So when she enters him again, paradise will be regained.
Hedwig: However you want it, honey. Just kiss me while we do it.
Tommy: Breathe through my mouth.
Hedwig: It's my first day as a woman, already it's that time of the month.
Phyllis: I don't think it's going to help our lawsuit if you continue to st... if you present the appearance of stalking him.
Hedwig: Yeah, you know I don't like that word.
Hedwig: I had tried singing once back in Berlin. They threw tomatoes. After the show, I had a nice salad.
Hansel: Luther is silent for a moment, as he stares at my little bishop in a turtleneck.
Tommy: Eve just wanted to know shit.
Hansel's Mom: Absolute power corrupts.
Hansel (6 Years Old): Absolutely.
Hansel's Mom: Better to be powerless, my son.
Hedwig: Don't you know me Kansas City? I'm the new Berlin Wall. Try and tear me down.
Krzysztof: Miss Hedwig, can we eat the salad now?
Hedwig: How many times do I have to tell you? You don't put a bra in a dryer! It warps.
Hedwig: The road is my home, and my home, the road. And when I think of all the people I have come upon in my travels, I cannot help but think of the people who have come upon me. Tommy, can you hear me? From this milkless tit you have sucked the very business we call show.
Yitzhak: Fuck you, I'm going to Guam.
Hedwig: When it comes to huge openings, a lot of people think of me.
