Ma Kelly: Bless the saints, it's an ashtray! I've been thinking of taking up smoking. This clinches it.
Tommy Kelly: You were gonna take a bullet for me.
Johnny Kelly: Actually, I was just counting on a lot of missing.
Johnny Dangerously: The years hadn't softened Moronie. He continued to murder the English Language, and anyone who got in his way.
Desk Sergeant: Calling all cars. Calling all cars. Be on the look out for... now listen to this: Dangerously and accomplices dressed as nuns driving a sedan covered with... oh you'll love this... duckies and bunnies.
Desk Sergeant: Calling all cars. Calling all cars. Come to Dooley's bar and grill. I'm buyin'.