Austin Millbarge: They're Afghani freedom fighters! They're on our side! WE'RE americans.
Russian Interregator #2: Every minute you don't tell us why you are here, I cut off a finger.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Mine or yours?
Russian Interregator #2: Yours.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Damn.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: What did she say?
Austin Millbarge: She wants to know why we'd do such a thing.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Tell her so do we.
General Sline: When we commissioned the Schmectel Corporation to research this precise event sequence scenario, it was determined that the continual stockpiling and development of our nuclear arsenal was becoming self-defeating. A weapon unused is a useless weapon.
Keyes: By your actions, sir, you are risking the future of the human race.
General Sline: To guarantee the American way of life, I'm willing to take that risk.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: What's she saying?
Austin Millbarge: H... hair... hairbrush... headrest.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Jesus, where did you learn your Russian? JCPenney?
Alice, Fitz-Hume's Supervisor: You're not going to give me some bullshit that you're dying, are you?
Emmett Fitz-Hume: No... not now.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: I'm sorry I'm late, I had to attend the reading of a will. I had to stay till the very end, and I found out I received nothing... broke my arm.
