Jennifer: I wanna do laundry with you, Ryan.
Ryan: I think too many differences make relationships impossible.
Jennifer: Michael and I didn't agree on anything. Ever. That's what I loved about it. We fought, shouted, had sex. I mean, that's what I miss.
Ryan: That doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship.
Jennifer: Yeah, but what do you know about healthy relationships?
Ryan: Excuse me?
Homecoming Knight: Gopher, do you mock my queen? I think you think you do, and for that you shall die.
Jennifer: I just made the most important decision in my entire life, and you want me to put on my seatbelt?
L.A. Flight Attendant: Yes, I do.
Jennifer: It's like, with me in your life, you never have to try. And that's the beauty of our relationship: You'll just never get hurt again as long as you pretend I'm your girlfriend.
Hunter: He's in love with someone who's not in love with him. How do you think he is?
Betty: We never get to do our laundry together.
Hunter: Excuse me, question: Exactly how far can you bend over?
Hunter: Buddy, if you're lookin' at me for answers - I'm flattered but, uh - you've come to the wrong place.