King of the Moon: I think, therefore you is.
Berthold: Is there a doctor in the fish?
Baron Munchausen: Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.
King of the Moon: I'm sorry. You must refer to me by my complete title: King of Everything. Rei di Tutto. But you may call me Ray.
Horatio Jackson: He won't get far on hot air and fantasy.
Sultan: Have you any famous last words?
Baron Munchausen: Not yet.
Sultan: "Not yet"? Is that famous?
Baron Munchausen: Everyone who had a talent for it lived happily ever after.
Baron Munchausen: You do believe me, don't you?
Sally: I'm doing my best.
King of the Moon: No, let me go! I've got tides to regulate! Comets to direct! I don't have time for flatulence and orgasms.
Opening Captions: Late 18th Century. The Age of Reason. Wednesday.
Sultan: What about the virgins?
Horatio Jackson: Please, forget the virgins. We're out of virgins.
Baron Munchausen: Gentlemen! Don't you think it would be a good idea to silence those enemy cannons?
Gunner: No, sir.
Baron Munchausen: No?
Gunner: It's Wednesday.