Grandpa Fred: They put me on at 3am. People who are awake at 3am aren't afraid of the Wolfman. The only thing that frightens those people is sobering up and going to work.
Greta the Gremlin: [Sees Forster] What a hunk.
Building Announcement: Would the owner of the car with license number 1AG 401 please remove it from the clamp parking garage, your car is old, and dirty.
Kate: Elevator, sound alarm.
Bunch of Gremlins: ENH! ENH! ENH! ENH! ENH! ENH! ENH.
Building Announcement: Because of the end of civilization, the Clamp Cable Network now leaves the air. We hope you've enjoyed our programming, but more importantly, we hope you've enjoyed... life.
Greta the Gremlin: Oh, why can't you commit?
Forster: Peltzer, you're having a psychotic episode. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Daffy Duck: Still lurking about? Don't you people have homes?
Daffy Duck: Patently ridiculous.
Hulk Hogan: Gremlins? In this theater? Now?
Gremlin: Nudie! Nudie! Nudie.
Building Announcement: Fire: The Untamed Element, Oldest of Man's Mysteries, Giver of warmth, Destroyer of forests, right now this building is on fire.
Woman In Corridor: What?
Building Announcement: Yes! The building is on fire! Leave the building! Enact the Age Old drama of Self-Preservation.
Leonard Maltin: Ow. I was just kidding. Ah. It's a ten. It's a ten.
Brain Gremlin: The city so nice they named it twice! See it one time, won't you?
Kate: Billy, if we get through today alive, you're in big trouble.