Jenna: What do you *really* want?
Joey: Chelsea Clinton?
Coop: That's a pretty tall order, dude.
Remer: You'd have a better shot at Bill.
Dan Patrick: With the first seven months of the BASEketball postseason out of the way, the playoff picture is now starting to emerge.
Kenny Mayne: So, with last night's victory over Boston, next week the Milwaukee Beers must beat Indianapolis in order to advance to Charlotte. That's in an effort to reduce their magic number to three.
Dan Patrick: Right, and then the Beers can advance to the National Eastern Division North to play Tampa.
Kenny Mayne: So, if the Beers beat Detroit and Denver beats Atlanta in the American Southwestern Division East Northern, then Milwaukee goes to the Denslow Cup, unless Baltimore can upset Buffalo and Charlotte ties Toronto, then Oakland would play LA and Pittsburgh in a blind choice round robin. And if no clear winner emerges from all of this, a two-man sack race will be held on consecutive Sundays until a champion can be crowned.
Coop: Hey, Skidmark Steve, cool. You still just hangin' out, playin' Nintendo?
Steve: Well, if you must know, I'm in my second year of med school and I'm training for the Summer Games. What are you two up to?
Coop: Just hanging out... Playing Nintendo... Cock.
Narrator: Soon it was commonplace for entire teams to change cities in search of greater profits. The Minneapolis Lakers moved to Los Angeles where there are no lakes. The Oilers moved to Tennessee where there is no oil. The Jazz moved to Salt Lake City where they don't allow music. The Raiders moved from Oakland to LA back to Oakland. No-one in LA seemed to notice.
Joe Cooper: If you want unanimous consent, you're gonna have to get it from one of the other owners.