Major John Smith: Lieutenant, in the next 15 minutes we have to create enough confusion to get out of here alive.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Major, right now you got me about as confused as I ever hope to be.
SS-Standartenführer Kramer: Let me remind you, Major, I'm a colonel in the SS and not a lieutenant who you can frighten with your threats.
SS-Sturmbannführer Von Hapen: Your military rank and position are obvious to me, Colonel, and so are your attempts to discredit me with superiors in Berlin.
SS-Standartenführer Kramer: If there is any discredit, you bring it upon yourself. Good night.
Major John Smith: You are going up to the castle tonight as, well, yes as a domestic.
Mary Ellison: How? Naked?
Major John Smith: Not a bad idea, but it's a bit obvious.
Mary Ellison: I nearly froze to death in that damn plane. Why couldn't you have supplied some hot water bottles or an electrically heated suit? I thought you loved me.
Major John Smith: Can't help what you think.