Mugatu: Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.
Mugatu: You have no evidence. Han-stupid destroyed everything.
Derek Zoolander: I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.
Mugatu: As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte.
Derek Zoolander: Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.
Mugatu: Do as you are trained... and kill THE malaysian prime minister.
Larry Zoolander: You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother.
Derek Zoolander: Pretty soon, they'll be reading our eugoogaly.
Hansel: You is talking loco and I like it.
Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.
Maury Ballstein: Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.
Derek Zoolander: Oh, Snap.
Derek Zoolander: So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?
Protestor: Mugatu! Screw you and your little dog too.
Matilda: When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
Derek Zoolander: Ew.
Derek Zoolander: Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?