Chris: You know, I'm just a regular guy who grew up with the posters of these guys on my wall... and now I'm one of them! That's right, I'm standing here, living proof that if you work hard enough, and you want it bad enough... dreams do come true. So follow your dreams.
Rob: Dude, I just keep putting this shit on until I want to fuck myself.
Emily: Rob, I'm a business woman, and rule number one in this business is you go where the talent is... and all the fucking talent that was in this band has just left the room.
Mats, Steel Dragon Road Manager: Whatever rolls your beanie baby.
Rob: Bradley's our new front man.
Chris: You've made your point... now, get him... out.
Rob: See this? This is the new PA he brought with him. Oh and that... that's the mixing board he brought with him too.
Chris: Have you heard the voice he's brought with him?
Emily: Oh no no... I could make you a pair of those. But first you gotta tell me what you shove in there to make people think you're a guy.
Chris: You're gay?
Bobby: No, I got both my nipples pierced and bought a house in Morocco because I'm John fucking Wayne.
Ricki: Dude, do I have too much foundation on?
Mats, Steel Dragon Road Manager: Whatever twirls your beanie baby.