Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not pattycake! It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee.
Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking it black, Acme's taking the cream now.

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Smart Ass: Don't make us play rough, Valiant. We just want the rabbit.
Roger Rabbit: What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do?
Eddie Valiant: What's all this "we" stuff? They just want the rabbit.

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R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know.
R.K. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You've seen the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his job. You know why?
Eddie Valiant: One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?
R.K. Maroon: Nah, he's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, goes to pieces just like you and me.

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Lt. Santino: Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme.
Eddie Valiant: And R.K. Maroon. And my brother.
Lt. Santino: Now that's what I call one seriously disturbed toon.

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Eddie Valiant: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Jessica Rabbit: He makes me laugh.

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Dolores: I thought you said you'd never take another toon case. What did you have a change of heart?
Eddie Valiant: Nothing's changed. Somebody's made a patsy outta me and I'm gonna find out why!

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Marvin Acme: Over here, Jessica. I have everything ready. Right here, on the bed.
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, not now, Marvin. I have a headache.
Marvin Acme: But Jessica, you promised.
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, all right. But this time, take off that hand buzzer.

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Eddie Valiant: So why come to me? I'm the one who took the pictures of your wife.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, and you're also the one who helped all these toons. Everyone knows that when a toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go: Valiant and Valiant.
Eddie Valiant: Not anymore.

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Roger Rabbit: Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo?

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Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Roger. You were magnificent.
Roger Rabbit: Was I really?
Jessica Rabbit: Better than Goofy.

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Eddie Valiant: Scotch on the rocks... And I MEAN ICE!

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Eddie Valiant: That lame-brain freeway idea could only be cooked up by a toon.

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Eddie Valiant: What's with him?
Betty Boop: Mr. Acme never misses a night when Jessica performs.
Eddie Valiant: Got a thing for rabbits, huh?

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Dolores: Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

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Judge Doom: A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway.
Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?
Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.

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Dolores: Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder?

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Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is?
Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP!
Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth! Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized water cannon. Toon Town will be erased in a matter of minutes.

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Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling. I want you to know I love you. I've loved you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit.

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Eddie Valiant: You mean you could've taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?
Roger Rabbit: No, not at any time, only when it was funny.

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Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls. And bouncing off the walls. Without that gun, I'd have some fun. I'd kick you in the...
[A vase hits Eddie in the head stopping his singing.]
Roger Rabbit: Nose.
Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with walls.
Eddie Valiant: No, but this does.
[Kicks Smart Ass in the balls.].

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Dolores: Well, you wanna tell me what she was doing with her arms around you?
Eddie Valiant: Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife.
Dolores: Oh come on, Eddie, I caught you with your PANTS DOWN!

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Eddie Valiant: Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning.

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Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

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Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?
Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh...
Eddie Valiant: Who?
Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, the green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know! But the liquor store guy... He knew.
Eddie Valiant: In other words, the whole town knows you're here! Get out!

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Roger Rabbit: Yeah. Check the probate. Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water.
Eddie Valiant: Not prostate, you idiot, PROBATE!

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Mistakes

When Jessica appears on stage, Eddie has Betty Boop standing next to him in all close-up shots, except for a wide shot of the public behind Jessica where Boop is missing.

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Trivia

In the Ink and Paint Club, when Jessica is about to do her number, just as the curtains open, her dress snaps off for a split second, then reappears. This can only be seen in slow motion on the laserdisc version, however.

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