Blind Al: Can you speak up? It’s hard to hear you with that pity dick in your mouth.
Deadpool: Pump the hate brakes, Thanos.
Deadpool: So you're an alien, I guess. How does that help us?
Shatterstar: I'm basically better than you at everything.
Deadpool: Just once, I'm gonna find a planet of people that are worse than me at everything. A bunch of functional idiots. I'm gonna go there, and I'm gonna be their Superman.
Weasel: Isn't that Canada?
Deadpool: You shut your goddamn trash mouth.
Deadpool: Give me your best shot, One-Eyed Willie!
Deadpool: So dark. You sure you're not from the DC universe?
Deadpool: Well, that's just lazy writing.
Ryan Reynolds: [Looking at Green Lantern script] You're in the big leagues now, kid. [Shot in the head by Deadpool].
Weasel: It’s time get back on LinkedIn.