John Johnson: My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me Vicki.
Stuart Mackenzie: Look at the size of that boy's heed.
Tony Giardino: Shhh.
Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick.
Tony Giardino: Shhh, you're going to give the boy a complex.
Stuart Mackenzie: Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid.
Tony Giardino: Shh.
Stuart Mackenzie: Has it's own weather system.
Tony Giardino: Sh, sh, shh.
Stuart Mackenzie: Head! move.
Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, we have a piper who's down. It's all right, he's just pissed. We have a piper down, I repeat, a piper is down.
Harriet Michaels: So bright women intimidate you?
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. But it's a shame I'm going to have to destroy you.
Charlie Mackenzie: Tell me one bad thing that you've done, and it better be evil.
Harriet Michaels: How evil?
Charlie Mackenzie: Really evil. Like so evil, that you would say it was E-VEEL, like it's the FRU-ETS of the DEV-EEL. E-VEEL.
John Johnson: Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a "bitch." And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or "shiv", and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities. (short pause) This way to the cafeteria.
Stuart Mackenzie: Thirty years ago today, May and I were married. Some of you were there, some of you weren't born, and some of you are now deed! But, we both said "I do," and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.
May Mackenzie: That's true.
Stuart Mackenzie: But I'm glad I married you, May, because hey, could've been worse.
Answer: The Writers Guild of America (WGA) determines who is credited and how, so they would have arbitrated this. In 1992, the LA Times reported that several writers had been involved in the script including Myers and Mullarkey, but also Howard Zieff, Barbara Benedek, Sally Robinson, Conan O'Brien and Carrie Fisher. In 1993, the LA Times reported that the WGA had awarded Robbie Fox sole story and screenwriting credit on the film.
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