Lily Braden: What's the story on that dog?
Reggie Dunlop: That's the dog that saved Charleston from the 1938 flood.
Lily Braden: Well fuck him.
Jim Carr: Andre "Poodle" Lussier, defense. Andre, as you know, has been living in semi-seclusion in Northern Quebec ever since the unfortunate Denny Pratt tragedy.
Morris Wanchuk: Not Poodle.
Jim Carr: And from Mile 40, Saskatchewan, where he now runs a donut shop, number 10, former penalty-minute record holder for the years 1960 to 1968 inclusive, Gilmore Tuttle.
Jim Ahern: If Hanrahan's wife's a dyke, does that make him a fag?
McGrath: Every scout in the NHL is out there tonight, with contracts in their pockets, and they're looking for talent. For winners. oooooooooh. All my years of publicity. All the fashion shows and radiothons for nothing... They come here tonight... to scout the Chiefs... the toughest team in the Federal League! Not this! Buncha... pussies."
Hyannisport broadcaster: The fans are standing up to them! The security guards are standing up to them! The peanut vendors are standing up to them! And by golly, if I could get down there, I'd be standing up to them.
Reggie Dunlop: What are you guys doing?
Steve Hanson: Puttin' on the foil.
Jeff Hanson: Every game.
Jack Hanson: Yeah, you want some?
Tim McCracken: They don't call me Dr. Hook for nothin'.
Jeff Hanson: How ya doin'?
Johnny Upton: Jesus, what did the old man trade for these assholes, a used puck bag?
Shirley Upton: Johnny always says you can just screw so much and drink so much.
Denis Lemieux: I'm tired of it! Puke! Blah! All the time, puke.
Reggie Dunlop: You're a goalie, you're supposed to be like that.
Reggie Dunlop: They convicted Ogilthorpe.
Tim McCracken: Dunlop, you suck cock.
Reggie Dunlop: All I can get.
Jim Carr: Oh this young man has had a very trying rookie season, with the litigation, the notoriety, his subsequent deportation to Canada and that country's refusal to accept him, well, I guess that's more than most 21-year-olds can handle... Ogie Ogilthorpe.
Jim Carr: Here's a name for you nostalgia fans: Clarence "Screaming Buffalo" Swamptown. I'll never forget an exclusive interview in which Swamptown revealed that he calls his hockey stick the "Big Tomahawk," and he usually refers to the opposing players as "the little scalps."
Ned Braden: Now, they give you one phone call. See they book you, and then the give you one phone call.
Jack Hanson: Call the pizza man.
Morris Wanchuk: Why don'tcha call a massage parlor.