Augustus: Between the three of us, we have 5 legs, 4 eyes, 2 1/2 working pairs of lungs, but we also have 2 dozen eggs, so I'd go back inside if I were you.
Ellie: Being there for someone when they need you, that's all relationships are.
Lucile Angellier: Hardly a word of our true feelings had ever been spoken. Not a single word about love.
Brooke Dalton: It's possible, isn't it? It's possible that you could meet somebody who's perfect for you even though you're committed to somebody else.
Nick Vaughan: No, no, see, I think if you're committed to somebody, you don't allow yourself to find perfection in someone else.
Moose: Does it always have to end up in a big, giant dance battle?
Amanda: This is dangerous, we've had wine, and you somehow have gotten better looking which is so annoying. I mean you couldn't have gotten bald or fat or something? Jesus.
King Louis XIV: I will go slowly mad.
Oren Little: And when you sing "Cry Me a River," it doesn't have to be the whole river.
Keith: Although I was only gone for a few hours, I found myself missing you. Now, it's quite possible that if I'd stayed away a few more hours I'd have just completely got over that, but now we'll never know.
Max: I'll let Evelyn eat me, turn me into one of the living dead, and we can rot unhappily ever after.
Jerome Holm: You should have let me help you, Ernest. I'm not scared.
Ernest Holm: How do you spell your name?
Jerome Holm: What?
Ernest Holm: Your name, how do you spell it?
Jerome Holm: J-e-r-o-m-e.
Ernest Holm: "Jerome." You're more of a "Jerry."
Jerome Holm: I don't like that.
Ernest Holm: No? Then why are you calling me Ernest?
Jerome Holm: 'Cause that's your name.
Ernest Holm: Well, I prefer if you stuck with "dad."
Grace: Do you believe in fairytales, Tuck?
Francis Tucker: No, I believe in "happily ever after."
Jay Wheeler: Whats the matter?
Daisy Kensington: You're standing on my toes.
Bernie: I wanna talk to you, man. All that stuff that I was sayin' to you about her potentially being Alison? I didn't mean it, man. I'm seeing a difference in you. I feel like it's because of her. I'm kind of like, jealous, a little bit? I'm really happy for you, Danny.
Danny: Really?
Bernie: Fuck no! This is stupid.
Gordon: Good God, man. You've fallen for that little slice of American pie.
Richard: Dad.
Gordon: Now you listen to me. This might be the most important bit of advice that I ever give you. American women may be fun and Victoria Secret when you first met them, but as soon as they get their claws into you, they stop fucking and start eating, and the only ass you gonna get is a fat one.
Cathy: Your wife won't miss you tonight?
Bart Winslow: No, she's busy renovating the entrance for her family's mansion for about the 17th time now.