Clerk: [slides card.] Declined.
Rebecca Bloomwood: Can you try again?
Clerk: [slides it again.] Really declined.
Blanche Gunderson: And that's okay? It's okay to pull the rug out from under folks as long as it's nobody that you know? It's okay because we're just silly podunk Minnesotans, right? We talk funny and we ice-fish and we scrapbook and we drag Jesus into regular conversation. We're not cool like you, right? So we don't matter.
Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter Klaven: Oh come on!
Angus: What about this? What about this situation right here? Can't fuck your way out of this one, can you Mark?
Hua Mulan: I don't want to fight any more. I don't want to be a General. I want to be a normal person.
Wentai: Who wants to fight? I also don't want to fight any more! If I could use my life to stop this battle, I would have done it a long time ago! The problem is, we cannot choose. Once you put on a General's armour, your life is no longer your own.
Sam Shapiro: Writers are vampires. I'm waiting for the right girl to come along and make me a human being.
Louise: A relationship ending is like a death just two people know about. A whole life gets lost, everything we did together. All the places we traveled, the fights, the small moments of tenderness.
Sadie - age 9: Aram! Aram.
Frank Jr. - age 7: Mom is dead.
Aram Finklestein: What?
Frank Jr. - age 7: Come on.
Aram Finklestein: She's not dead.
Sadie - age 9: Could be post-mortem twitch.
David Santiago: What you do with your life is, really just one half of the equation. The other half, the more important half, really is, who you're with when you're doing it.
Captain Tony Stone: Civilian life's for people who ain't seen shit. It's too late for you, you've already seen the shit, you can't unsee it anymore. You can't be an insurance salesman now, brother, it's too fukin' late.
Seth Rogen: Your love glass is half full.
Emma Wheeler: Here you go. Sunny-side eggs, sausage with bacon, home fries, homemade biscuits and country gravy. Can I get you anything else?
Paul Morgan: No, thanks. Just an angiogram.
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: I'm gonna wrap your legs around my head and wear you like the crown that you are.
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: If that's OK with you.
Luisa Contini: You're just an appetite, and if you stopped being greedy you'd die. You take everything, and I'm empty.
Luisa Contini: You know, I'm glad I came. I can see now... it's hopeless.
Eloise: Can I say something? And, and this comes from a place of total humility. With the acknowledgment that my life is a day-by-day experiment in... really bad decisions. But, er... you're really messed up.
Viraj Shergill: During surgery, I want to go back to Punjab, Take me to Punjab, I want my mother, I want my lawyer, he works in a laundry.
Viraj Shergill: About to be operated on, Are you making a hole to dubai.
Beckett: Babies like to breathe, and they're good at hiding it. I put a pillow over a baby. I thought she wasn't breathing, but she was. She was sneaky, but I'll try again.