Carlton Leach: Listen, if I was you, I'd get those punters out of there 'cause the moment those Turks walk out that door, I'm gonna go fucking Schwarzenegger on the cunt.
Richie Roberts: This man murdered thousands, and he did it from a penthouse and driving a Lincoln.
George: What are you drinking, Bruiser? Oh, is that a bottle of Cock Block?
Lt. Col. Falco: Suffice it to say the enemy is getting stronger and the enemy is getting uglier. We're going to put our foot on their throats.
Barbara Baekeland: If you're tired of Paris, you're tired of everything.
Dr. Jack Harper: He really did love you, Sam.
Sam Lockwood: He didn't even know me.
Maps: Just remember Misty, no matter what, you're still a December boy.
Ian Curtis: Existence. Well, what does it matter? I exist on the best terms I can. The past is now part of my future. The present is well out of hand.
Chief Buchwald: But didn't you just say that you would do whatever you were told?
Det. Emily Sanders: Yeah, I sometimes exaggerate for effect.
Richard Langley: Whoever in this room who knows what goes on in the mind of the person who sleeps next to you... please, raise your hand... I know you can't, not honestly.
Student: What is the difference between plot and narrative?
Roussin: Hold fast to the human inside of you, and you'll survive.
Marjane as a teenager: Grandma, how come your breasts are still so nice and round at your age?
Marjane's grandmother: Because every day I put them in a bowl of ice-cold water for ten minutes.
Marjane as a teenager: I'll miss you.
Nazneen Ahmed: We must not run from our fate. What cannot be changed must be borne. The test of life is to endure.
Dex: You don't look happy. Mind if I call you "Groucho"?
Andrew 'Andy' Hanson: No, I don't mind.
Bill: They hate that I'm working at their bank. I hate that I'm working at their bank.
Shelly Barnes: Just don't ask me to marry you again.
Dr. Jack Gramm: Why not? We're perfect for each other.
Shelly Barnes: Yeah, yeah... except I'm a lesbian and you're a commitment-phobe.
Dr. Jack Gramm: That's why we're perfect.
Erik Kernan Jr.: The Jermaine story I covered. It was a good fight.
Ralph Metz: Yeah, I buried it.
Erik Kernan Jr.: But why?
Ralph Metz: Something's gotta be buried.
Erik Kernan Jr.: That's what high school wrestling's for, right?
Will: O my God, I've come to say thank you for your love today. Thank you for my family and all the friends you give to me. Guard me in the dark of night, and in the morning, send your light. Amen.