Joe Oramas: Hey, man, let me ask you a personal question. You've had sex before, right?
Finbar McBride: Yes.
Joe Oramas: With a regular sized chick?
Finbar McBride: With a regular sized chick.
Professor Harold Hill: You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you've collected a lot of empty yesterdays.
Jack Fate: All of us in some way are trying to kill time. When it's all said and done, time ends up killing us.
Shiori Kitano: The thing people fear most isn't dying, it's being forgotten.
Charley: Excuse the cryin'. I am a damn cryin' machine. That's why I drink so much water, won't have any fluids left in me. Have you ever been depressed?
William Gibbs: I've never not been depressed.
Jacki: A murderer, a rapist and a dyke go into a tattoo parlor.
Leland: This one is something a friend of mine said to me. "You have to believe that life is more than the sum of its parts, kiddo." I remember it right now to the "kiddo" part. When I think about what she said, the same thing always comes into my head. What if you can't put the pieces together in the first place?
Guy Burgess: Vladivostok, Moscow, the Kusnetsk Basin, Cambridge - the coldest places on Earth. Of the four, Cambridge is the coldest, permanently February the nineteenth.
Ronald Reagan: If you don't mind, this administration has to pee.
Aman Mathur: I have a theory about girls. The more you run after them, the more they will run away from you. But if you run away from them they will be confused and will run after you to find out the reason for their confusion. And we have to take advantage of such a confusion of a confused girl.
Rohit Patel: Even I'm confused.
Inspector Lau Kin Ming: I'm a cop too.