Chad: What did you call me?
Nick: You heard me. I called you a "Hostess Twinkie motherfucker," motherfucker.
Donald Patterson: Did I say that? I didn't say that! All I said was... bad things tend to happen around you two. Some money got lost and I think you two can help me find it.
Charlie: How so?
Donald Patterson: You look for it.
George: Billy, Billy, Billy they're... they're calling for backup.
Billy: Wait, wait wait. What the fuck did you just call me? Did you just use my fucking name?
George: When?
Billy: Am I gonna go crazy here or he just fucking used my name?
Cafe Manager: He just fucking used you're name.
Billy: You just used my fuckin' name! You idiot! You fuckin' mo... Wait, wait did I call you an idiot? I'm sorry... george! I'm sorry.
Lenny Nero: This is not like "TV-only-better " this is life.
Bruno Parker: I never saw anything funny that didn't cause pain.
Katharine: Every man on earth has his leaving step. If my husband had been a small man, he would not have been able to leave me. But he was a large man, and stepped over me as I slept, one great stride.
Suzanne Stone Maretto: You're not anybody in America unless you're on TV. On TV is where we learn about who we really are. Because what's the point of doing anything worthwhile if nobody's watching? And if people are watching, it makes you a better person.
Stuart Smalley: Because what they say is true - it's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
Maya: All women are princesses, it is our right.
