Strickland: You're a disappointment, Nero. But you know what disappoints me more?
Lenny Nero: Your sex life?
Tick: One man's mundane and desperate existence is another man's Technicolor.
Lenny: His ass is so tight, when he farts only dogs can hear it.
Lenny Nero: Are we still friends?
Mace: I don't know Lenny. You see, friendship is more than one person constantly doing favors for another.
Lenny: I am the magic man. I am your link to the subconscious. I have what you want. I can get you what you can't have.
Faith: I like the feeling of someone watching me.
Lenny Nero: Two million years of human evolution and that's the best idea you can come up with.
Lenny Nero: Bullet-resistant? What ever happened to bullet-proof?
Faith: You wanna watch or you gonna do?
Max: He's still workin' the party... actin' smooth like nothin's nothin'.
Lenny Nero: This is what we laughingly refer to as a plan, right?
Talk radio host: Now, just so the, the rest of us know how much time is left, when is the rapture supposed to hit exactly? Is it midnight New Year's Eve?
Lori: That's right.
Talk radio host: Aha. Is that midnight L.A. time or, or Eastern Standard Time, or what? I mean, what timezone is God in anyway?
Mace: This is your life, right here, right now! It's real-time, you hear me, real time! Time to get real, not playback. You understand me?
Max Peltier: You put that thing on the 11 o'clock news and by midnight you'll have the biggest riot in history. They'll see the smoke from Canada.
Philo Gant: Paranoia is just reality on a finer scale.
Jeriko One: You're gonna be in my next song. It's called "RoboSteckler." It's about a cop who met his worst nightmare: a ni**a with enough political juice to squash your ass like a stinkbug! You gonna be famous, fucker.
Lenny Nero: This is not like "TV-only-better " this is life.
Jeriko One: You know what? You've pulled over the wrong black man, Officer Steckler! I'm the 800 pound gorilla in your mist, fucker! I make more money in a day than you make in a whole year! And my lawyer loves sending sorryass Aryan RoboCop fuckers like you to jail.
Lenny Nero: Right now his frontal lobes are like two runny eggs.
Lenny: Have you ever been in love with someone who didn't return that love?
Mace: Yeah, Lenny, I have.
Lenny: It didn't stop you from loving them, right? Or being able to understand them or forgive them?
Mace: I guess.