Best comedy movie quotes of 1980

Gunderson: He's all over the place! Nine hundred feet up to 1300 feet. What an asshole!

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

Danny: I haven't even told my father I'm not going to get that scholarship. I'm gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life.
Ty Webb: What's wrong with lumber. I own two lumberyards.
Danny: I notice you don't spend too much time there.
Ty Webb: I'm not quite sure where they are.

Capt. Doreen Lewis: Benjamin, you are not FIT to wear that uniform.
Judy Benjamin: No shit.

Vincent Smith: I'm the biggest hypocrite of them all. My meats... I used preservatives.

Rudy: So. Roy L... What can I do you for?
Roy L. Fuchs: Uhhh... I'd like to talk to my brother.
Rudy: Well, you're gonna have to talk kinda loud. He left for Miami late last night.
Roy L. Fuchs: Miami?
Rudy: Yeah. Miami Beach.
Roy L. Fuchs: Miami Beach?
Jeff: Florida.
Roy L. Fuchs: I know where the fuck Miami Beach is, dummy.

Louise: I don't know, there's just gotta be some way we can make money.
Elaine: We can make porno flicks and all wear masks.
Jane: No, Robert and I got bombed out one night, and we put "I love you" on my ankle.
Elaine: OK, we'll wear masks, you'll wear socks. (00:22:45)

Sammo ★

Peppermint Patty: False! Why did you put down false, Chuck? The answer is true, Chuck! What's true is true! Put down true, Chuck, or I'll never speak to you again.
Teacher: Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Ma'am?
Teacher: Is your partner giving you the answers?
Charlie Brown: Oh no, ma'am. She's not giving me the answers. Forcing, maybe, but not giving.

Clifford Peache: What does your dad do?
Ricky Linderman: He watches T.V.

Narrator: They live in the vastness of the Kalahari in small family groups. One family of Bushmen might meet up with another once in a few years, but for the most part they live in complete isolation, unaware there are other people in the world. In the deep Kalahari, there are Bushmen who have never seen or heard of civilized man.

D.J.: Why do keep calling this car Ocho? Ocho means eight. Can't you read the numbers?
Paco: Sure I can read the numbers. Five and three are eight. Anyone knows that.

Bimbeau: Lemme tell you buttholes somethin'! This shit's wwaaayyyyy outta line! And you squirrels better have some nuts in your mouth... or you're goin' downtown.

[Justice tries to shoot the Bandit with Junior's gun only to find it's not loaded.]
Justice: Junior! Why didn't you have your gun loaded?
Junior: Well, when I put bullets in it, daddy, it gets too heavy.

Eli Cross: It's not what he's eating, but what's eating him that makes it... sort of interesting.

Dr. Canterbury, Head of Sanatorium: Billy, my considered diagnosis is that you have the worst ailment known to man - no money.

Violet Newstead: What are you, a man or a mouse? I mean, a woman or a wouse?

Aurora De La Hoya: He was lying right there, dead as yesterday.

Terrible Tommy: "Come on runt."
Rosa Carlo: "Stop calling me that."

Rob245

Mr. Uwatsum: How about a nice bowl of fish eyes?
Inspector Winship: Will you pardon me, please?
Mr. Uwatsum: Ah... Do you like hummingbird cookies?
Dr. Tart: ...No, thank you.

Lazlo: Like a lot of people thought I was dead but, uh... hey you know you don't write any postcards when you're on the road to self-discovery.