Tim: Sid what do you know about romance?
Sid: Nothing, I'm married.
Box: Overwhelming, am I not?
Sybil Dorsett: Who dat?
Richard J. Loomis: Who dat who say who dat?
Sybil Dorsett: Who dat who say who dat who say who dat?
Mrs. Andrews: Too late, Miss. Gibbons, I've already seen your action.
Dr. Abner Perry: You cannot mesmerise me! I'm British.
Fairy Godmother: You're not meant to understand it. You're meant to accept it. Graciously.
Blanche: You're a fink.
George: If I'm a fink then you're an ungrateful bitch.
Jack Prescott: Even an environmental rapist like you wouldn't be asshole enough to destroy a unique new species of animal.
Fred Wilson: Bet me.
Nicole Dressler: Oh, what is it all about?
Dr. Jonathan Chamberlain: I'd say a slight case of, uh...food poisoning.
Nicole Dressler: I think either you're a lousy doctor or a lousy liar.
Laureen Hobbs: He's plague, he's smallpox, he's typhoid. I don't want to follow his goddamn show. I want out of that 8 o'clock spot. I've got enough troubles without Howard Beale as a lead-in. You guys scheduled me up against "Tony Orlando and Dawn," NBC's got "Little House on the Prairie," ABC's got "The Bionic Woman." You've gotta do something. You've gotta do something about Howard Beale. Get him off the air. Get him off. Do something. DO anything.
Jason Smith: Are you really a trickster?
Zachariah Coop: Oh, I think most people are at a certain level. But remember this: you can't trick a man unless he's aiming to trick you.
Jason Smith: How come?
Zachariah Coop: Well, because people in general like the idea of getting something for nothing. And the trickster affords him that opportunity.
Rynn: How old do you have to be before people start treating you like a person?
Sherlock Holmes: No, Watson! The Queen wouldn't like it.
Mrs. Tredoni: You filthy pig! You and that WHORE! You both belong in the snares of the devil.
Dom Spages: BWAHHHH.
Sam Clayton: I ain't getting no younger. Time just goes by and then... then one day... one day you just get older and suddenly... you find yourself... all alone.
Jenny: You deserve to be alone.
Franklin Frank: Any jerk can direct.
Lucy: Are you a doctor?
Al: Yeah, how'd you know?
Lucy: Dirty shoes and clean white hands.
Al: A lot of guys have clean hands.
Lucy: But not that clean. It must have taken you ten years at least to get them that clean.
Al: What are you, a commercial or what?
Kathy: I wanted vanilla twist.
Hellsgate rancher: They call this country Hell's Gate. When my dad came in here, it was nothing but a bunch of savage Indians. And Jesuits. Old Thomas Jefferson said that he was a warrior so his son could be a farmer, so his son could be a poet. And I raise cattle so my son can be a merchant, so his son can move to Newport, Rhode Island and buy a sailboat and never see one of these bastard-ass sons of bitching mountains again.
Si: Who was Thomas Jefferson?
Hellsgate rancher: A guy back east.
Kitty Baxter: Dan's a good man, and he's never eaten a whole person in his entire life.