Carnahan: If he's not gonna eat her, why did he take her?
Jack Prescott: Apes are highly territorial. He's probably gonna take her back to his turf.
Carnahan: What for? Joe and the guys, uh, said that you said the ape was gonna marry her. Is that some kinda joke or did you really mean his huge.
Jack Prescott: I don't know, Carnahan! Look, I'm just as ignorant about this as you are, so quit askin' me so many dumb questions, will ya?
Fred Wilson: Well, here's to the big one.
Fred Wilson: I know the day, the hour you completed your toilet training.
Dwan: Oh, I didn't mean that. Honest, I didn't. Sometimes I get too physical. It's a sign of insecurity, you know, like, like when you knock down trees. Such a nice ape. Such a nice, sweet - nice, sweet, sweet monkey. You know, we're gonna be great friends. I'm a Libra. What sign are you?
Capt. Ross: You know, for some reason, I'm reminded of Amsterdam. Ever eat a raw herring with a beer chaser and a scoop of ice cream?
Dwan: You know I had my horoscope done before I flew out to Hong Kong. And it said that I was going to cross over water and meet the biggest person in my life.
Fred Wilson: Take plenty of TNT when you go inland. Any sign of a monkey bigger than four feet, send him bang-bang.
Dwan: You're just going to America to be a star.
Jack Prescott: There is a girl out there who might be running for her life from some gigantic turned-on ape.
Dwan: I'm Dwan. D-W-A-N, Dwan. That's my name. You know, like Dawn, except that I switched two letters to make it more memorable.