Best comedy movie quotes of 1971

Willy Wonka: Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What happened?
Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.

Oscy: Not even the best of friends go halfsies on a rubber.

Captain Mainwaring: I intend to mould those men out there into an aggressive fighting force. I'm not going to get very far if you keep inviting them to "step this way."

Neil Jones

Bobbie: I need a life.
Jonathan: Get a job.
Bobbie: I don't want a job. I want you.
Jonathan: I'm taken, by me. Get out of the house, do something useful, Goddammit.

Witness: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being.
Fielding Mellish: Uh, would the clerk read that statement back please?
Court Clerk: "I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a rotten, conniving, dishonest little rat."
Fielding Mellish: Ok, I just wanted to make sure you were getting it.
Judge: You're out of order.

Maude: That was fun! Let's play something together.
Harold: I don't play anything.
Maude: Nothing? Dear me, everybody should be able to make some music. That's the cosmic dance.

Dr. Anton Phibes: Where can we find two better hemispheres, without sharp north, without declining west? My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears, and true plain hearts do in thee faces rest. Within twenty-four hours, my work will be finished, and then, my precious jewel, I will join you in your setting. We shall be reunited forever in a secluded corner of the great elysian field of the beautiful beyond.

Anderson: What's advertising but a legalized con game? And what the hell's marriage? Extortion, prostitution, soliciting with a government stamp on it. And what the hell's your stock market? A fixed horse race. Some business guy steals a bank, he's a big success story. Face in all the magazines. Some other guy steals the magazine and he's busted.

Cardinal Wolsey: A drink, Ma'am?
Queen Marie: Thank you.
Cardinal Wolsey: I can heartily recommend the porter here.
Queen Marie: Really? Then do send him up to my room later.

Jug: You hit that fellow from behind?
Latigo: Just as hard as I could.

Maisie: Say, that's a kickie step. Who taught you that?
Tommy: Search me, Toots? You see, as a kid I was kicked in the head and when I came to - amnesia.
Maisie: How on earth did that happen?
Tommy: You've heard of the Russian Revolution - and all that jazz?
Maisie: Yes.
Tommy: Well, I'm told I was on the steppes of Odessa, when the Whites went bananas. When I woke up, all I could remember was how to tap dance.

Chloe Moore: Oh, hello Fred, Sid just give me a lift home.
Fred Moore: I hope that's all he gave you.