When You Wish Upon a Weinstein - S3-E22
Peter Griffin: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois. Because if I'm a child then you know what that makes you? A paedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.
Dying For Pie / Imitation Krabs - S2-E6
Mr. Krabs: What's the most important rule here?
Spongebob: No free napkins?
Mr. Krabs: No, the other most important rule!
Spongebob: Only discuss the secret formula with Mr Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: As long as you do that, the formula is safe.
Squidward: I thought the most important rule was why do today what you can put off for tomorrow?
Mr. Krabs: But what's today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
Squidward: What?
My Problem With Popplers (a.k.a. The Problem With Popplers) - S2-E18
Fry/Bender: Pop a Poppler in your mouth, When you come to Fishy Joe's, What they're made of is a mystery, Where they come from, no one knows. You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em, You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em, And if you promise not to sue us, You can shove one up your nose.
President Josiah Bartlet: What's next?
Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.
Yokas: Forgot how many personal things I tell you. Guess I forgot how much I talk to you. You know? Because you weren't there for me to talk to. I miss you, Bosco.
Dr. Huang: I'm conflicted about labeling a ten year old a psychopath. But...
Don Cragen: "But"?
Dr. Huang: I've had a chill like that two times in my life. With death row serial killers.
Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.
Tony Soprano: Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman's Sampler?
Sydney Fox: I'm talking about something much more serious than a curse! I'm talking about a crazy woman in a bustier.
Linda La Hughes: There aint no such thing as bisexuality, it's just greediness.
Denny Blood: Oi, posh bitch. Is "arseholes" all one word?
Monica Lindsey: No, it's hyphenated. As in "arse-licker"
Radcliffe Denton: I once saw daddy beat a man until both he and the man were crying.
Takato Matsuki: Mom, Dad, why are girls so crazy?
Yoshie Matsuki: They're not. Their husbands make them that way.
R. Dorothy Wayneright: Aren't you cold?
Roger Smith: Oh, hello, Dorothy. Are you now worried about my health?
R. Dorothy Wayneright: Not really.
Nami: What's that Luffy?
Monkey D. Luffy: This armor will protect me from harm!
Roronoa Zoro: AHHH! The armor broke!
Michael: Whoever sent us down here was smart, you know? Because they sent us together, and as long as we stick together, we're gonna make it.
Interior Decorator: Usually I'm so perceptive of people. Come on... what's changed?
Maxine: Two weeks ago my fiancée died of a heart attack 48 hours before we were to be wed. Also, I've cut my hair.
Merton: From an old legend, and the third season of Buffy.