Futurama (1999) - 22 quotes

Leela: You're just jealous.

Fry: No I'm not. Oh wait - yes I am. But my point remains valid.

Bender: What do you mean "we", flesh-tube?

Zapp Brannigan: If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

War is the H-Word (series 3)

Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.

Fry: And then the battle's not so bad?

Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

Brannigan Begin Again (series 2)

Zapp: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing! Rock crushes scissors! But paper covers rock, and scissors cut paper! Kif, we have a connundrum. Search them for paper. And, er, bring me a rock.

Space Pilot 3000 (series 1)

Fry: Wow, a real live robot! Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?

Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!

Fry: It doesn't look so shiny to me.

Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag!

Fry: You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless! You gotta hope even more, and cover your ears and go blah blah blah blah blah blah!

Spanish Fry (series 5)

Lrr: Mmmm. This jerked chicken is good. I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.

Bender: It's used to it. Woooooooo!

Put Your Head on My Shoulder (series 2)

Fry: I'm not a one-woman man.

Leela: I'm sure you'll be back to zero soon enough.

Anthology of Interest I (series 2)

Leela: Are you blackmailing me?

Bender: I prefer to use the word extortion. The 'x' makes it sound cool.

Lrr: I am Lrr. Ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8.

I Second That Emotion (series 2)

Leela: Aw. Poor Nibbler, chipped a fang. [Kisses Nibblers cheek.]

Bender: Hey! I got a busted ass here. I don't see anyone kissing it.

Dr. Zoidberg: Alright, I'm coming.

Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!

Crimes of the Hot (series 5)

Fry: Bender, this world just isn't good enough for you.

Bender: Not even close.

Fry: That's the saltiest thing I ever tasted, and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt.

Episode Two: The Series Has Landed (series 1)

Leela: Fry, we have a crate to deliver.

Bender: Well let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.

Fry: Too much work. Let's we burn it and *say* we dumped it in the sewer.

My Three Suns (series 1)

Fry: It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?

Spanish Fry (series 5)

Fry: Look. Normally I'm the first guy to toot his own lower horn.

Bender: I'll say. Whooooo!

Fry: But in this case, I just don't think it's going to work.

Bender: That's what she said. Whooooo!

Zapp Brannigan: Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love - hard and fast.

Mars University (series 2)

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh, I always feared he would run off like this. Why? WHY? WHY didn't I break his legs?