Caroline: Don't judge me. You drink from the toilet bowl.
Caroline: Are you going to untie me?
Richard: Not today.
Richard: Does this elevator go straight to Hell or do I switch in the lobby?
Richard: I'm stuck.
Del: What do you mean?
Richard: I'm stuck. Are you having trouble with "I'm" or "stuck"?
Richard: So, Donna, do you miss Rome?
Donna: Oh, no. All that traffic and noise and pollution, and rude people.
Richard: Oh, I can see why you moved to New York.
Aunt Mary: Nice to meet you, Richard.
Annie: Boy, there's a phrase you don't hear too often.
Caroline: Well, um, listen I'm really tired. And I have to get up early because I'm... Going to bed early.
Annie: That's how she was going to accept his proposal! It's so romantic.
Richard: How do you know it was a marriage proposal? It could have been a suicide pact.
Annie: Somebody wasn't breast-fed.
Richard: Somebody doesn't have breasts.
Richard: So, no-one liked my paintings in Rome, either. But it was just as well. After Julia left me, I couldn't paint anymore.
Caroline: She broke your heart?
Richard: No, she broke my paint brush! Of course she broke my heart. I mean I was in love with her, you know. Sincere amore. The kind of love you never have to question.
Police Officer: We're looking for a Mr. Richard Karinsky.
Caroline: Why?
Richard: Because my life is like a Kafka novel.
Caroline: Richard, why is all your furniture in the hall?
Richard: We had to pee.
Caroline: Hey, Richard, how was your New Year's Eve?
Richard: Oh, sublime. Scott and Zelda and I shared a cab over to the Stork Club where we drank pink champagne out of Zelda's slipper.
Caroline: You know, a simple "I stayed in" would have sufficed.
Jimmy: I love Cats. I've seen it 13 times.
Annie: Oh, that's really sad.
Joe: What are you working on?
Richard: Not throwing you out the window.
Joe: How's it going?
Richard: Not so good.
Annie: Hey you didn't stay till the end of my New Years Eve Party.
Caroline: Sorry, I just couldn't make a three day commitment.
Richard: Excuse me. What do you people think I do on my birthday?
Caroline: I don't know. I just assumed you curled up with a handful of dirt from your homeland and waited 'til dawn.
Richard: Nope that's New Year's.
Woman: Mr. Karinski, 30 years old and you've spent the last 8 months coloring things.
Richard: Yes, my mother's very proud also.
Caroline: I've seen Annie naked.
Richard: Who hasn't?
Caroline: Richard, I can't believe we brought a baby into this world.
Richard: Well, Vicki did most of the work.
Caroline: Maybe you've heard of her? Donna Spidaro? She had that big hit back in the eighties, "On Black Top Road."
Richard: Oh, right, On Black Top Road. Yeah, of course I remember.
Caroline: You do?
Richard: No, but I was afraid you'd sing it to me.
