Del: So how do you think I came off?
Woman: A little needy.
Caroline: He wants to get married.
Richard: To you?
Caroline: No, to you.
Richard: Well, if it isn't the 8th dwarf, Easy.
Caroline: It wasn't my one and only marriage proposal. In second grade, a guy proposed to me and besides the fact that he ate paste, he was quite a catch.
Caroline: Are you going to untie me?
Richard: Not today.
Aunt Mary: Nice to meet you, Richard.
Annie: Boy, there's a phrase you don't hear too often.
Police Officer: We're looking for a Mr. Richard Karinsky.
Caroline: Why?
Richard: Because my life is like a Kafka novel.
Joe: What are you working on?
Richard: Not throwing you out the window.
Joe: How's it going?
Richard: Not so good.
Caroline: I've seen Annie naked.
Richard: Who hasn't?
Caroline: Is it true that one Christmas-.
Natalie Karinsky: Is he still bringing that up? We're jewish.
Advertising Lady: You want a puppet? Get her a puppet.
Richard: She already has one. Me.
Caroline: And if you're really good, maybe someday you'll turn into a real boy.
Richard: I'm very open to criticism.
Kenneth: Hmm.
Richard: Oh yeah, who the hell are you to judge my work?
Richard: Ok, ok, well you've all met Lady Bracknall. So let the games begin.
Caroline: Well she really didn't say much but your imaginary friend, Adam, he spilled hit guts.
Annie: Yeah Mr. Bedwetter.
Richard: I can't believe she told you that.
Annie: She didn't, gotcha. Five bucks.
Richard: This is ridiculous. I'm taking my lunch break. Del, I don't want any part in this.
Del: Oh come on, Richard.
Richard: Back off gentile.
Richard's machine: Hello?
Caroline: Yeah, Richard, it's Caroline -.
Richard's machine: Actually it's a machine, but aren't we all?
Caroline: So now you decide to develop a sense of humor?
Richard: I'm stuck.
Del: What do you mean?
Richard: I'm stuck. Are you having trouble with "I'm" or "stuck"?
Annie: That's how she was going to accept his proposal! It's so romantic.
Richard: How do you know it was a marriage proposal? It could have been a suicide pact.
Annie: Somebody wasn't breast-fed.
Richard: Somebody doesn't have breasts.
Caroline: Hey, Richard, how was your New Year's Eve?
Richard: Oh, sublime. Scott and Zelda and I shared a cab over to the Stork Club where we drank pink champagne out of Zelda's slipper.
Caroline: You know, a simple "I stayed in" would have sufficed.
Richard: Excuse me. What do you people think I do on my birthday?
Caroline: I don't know. I just assumed you curled up with a handful of dirt from your homeland and waited 'til dawn.
Richard: Nope that's New Year's.
Caroline: Maybe you've heard of her? Donna Spidaro? She had that big hit back in the eighties, "On Black Top Road."
Richard: Oh, right, On Black Top Road. Yeah, of course I remember.
Caroline: You do?
Richard: No, but I was afraid you'd sing it to me.
