Alvin Dewey: Someday, somebody will explain to me the motive of a newspaper. First, you scream, "Find the bastards." Till we find them, you want to get us fired. When we find them, you accuse us of brutality. Before we go into court, you give them a trial by newspaper. When we finally get a conviction, you want to save them by proving they were crazy in the first place.
Capt. Wiles: Coming home from Madagascar once we had a fireman on board who hit his head on a brick wall and died two days later.
Sam Marlowe: Where did he find a brick wall on board a ship?
Capt. Wiles: Mmmm... that's what we always wondered.
Sam Marlowe: Didn't know you had such a pretty mother, Arnie.
Arnie: You think she's pretty, you should see my slingshot.