Quotes from Will Arnett movies and TV shows

Key Decisions - S1-E4

[Gob is getting ready to perform his escape from prison trick.]
Gob: Hey, is there a private bathroom I can use?
George: Uh... [taps the in-cell toilet with his foot.] You're looking at it.
Gob: No, I can't use that. I, uh, I need privacy. I've always been that way. Come on, if I'm going to pass this key, I can't do it in front of all these other guys.
George: Well, we could ask them all to leave, but uh, they've been locking the doors.
Gob: I've made a huge mistake.

Lucille Austero: Today at lunch, you were ashamed to be with me.
Gob: No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.

Gob: Steve Holt's not my son.
George Michael Bluth: Steve Holt? What, the moron jock?
Gob: That's my son, you pothead.

Stranz Van Waldenberg: Not only did we embarrass Marky Mark, we let down the Funky Bunch.

Stranz Van Waldenberg: It's over. All the endorsements, everything gone. Oh my God, I can't get a real job; it'll kill me!

Katie Van Waldenberg: No, I'm not spying for you again.
Stranz Van Waldenberg: We're just asking you to discreetly tape their practice routines.

BoJack Horseman: It doesn't matter. Nothing... matters.

BoJack Horseman: Shut up Todd.

BoJack Horseman: Oh God.

Dean Solomon: So... you're a janitor?
James: That's right. I'm a black man so I must be a janitor. Motherfucking racist-ass stereotyper.
Dean Solomon: It's just, you're... wearing a janitor's outfit.
James: Oh. So a black man can't just go in a thrift shop and buy a janitor's outfit 'cause he find it comfortable on his nuts.
Dean Solomon: No, he can. Especially a black man.
John Solomon: What do you do?
James: I'm a janitor.

John Solomon: So she got hit by a bus, huh? Poor girl.
Dean Solomon: Yeah, the bus took a pretty serious hit too. I mean she was a large girl. Comfortably in the 200's.

John Solomon: I literally can not wait to feel myself inside you.
Janine: Woah! The only thing you're going to feel yourself inside of is a cold Dixie cup.
Dean Solomon: Well that certainly doesn't make your vagina sound very appealing.

John Solomon: I think we maybe need to broaden our search to include less conventional methods of having a baby.
Dean Solomon: Like anal?

Vlad: First I will devour it and then [coughs.] regirgitate it and devour it again so, two times devoured.

Robin: My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick.
Batman: Well, children can be cruel.

Computer: What is the password?
Batman: Iron Man sucks.

Alfred Pennyworth: Were you looking at the old family pictures again?
Batman: At the what? The old family... Oh, yes! I see what you mean. Look at that! The old gang. Yeah. No, I wasn't.
Alfred Pennyworth: I see. Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I'm a little concerned. I've seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1966. Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now?
Batman: I don't talks about feelings, Alfred. I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent. And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy. Good night, Alfred.
Alfred Pennyworth: Sir, it's morning.

Batgirl: Why did you build this thing with only one seat?
Batman: Because last I checked I only had one butt.

Batman: Hey mom, hey dad, I um, I saved the city again today, I think you would have been really proud.

Wyldstyle: You are not our leader.
Batman: How many movies are made about you? None. I have nine movies, and three more currently in development.