Quotes from T.J. Miller movies and TV shows - page 2 of 2

Clay Vanstone: Shut the fuck door.

Clay Vanstone: Vin Diesel ain't got shit on me.

Clay Vanstone: Hey, God. I know I haven't asked for a lot in this life. Granted, I was born rich... and white... and a man... and straight. Well, except for that one time in Vegas, but that was Vegas.

I-R0k: Avatars are going to be on him like hoes on Santa. (00:33:00)

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Sorrento: I-R0k, old friend... How are you?
I-R0k: ...To be honest I have kind of a neck thing. It's like a carpel-tunnel deal, but with your neck if that's even a thing. So if you could just stand to. To your right. My right, your left. Thanks, it's a repetitive stress. (00:31:25)

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I-R0k: The Steam Punk Pirate King. I knew him well, Sorrento. There are only three things in this world I hate... Steam Punk, Pirates, and Tabbouleh. (00:31:50)

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[Trying to name other couples like Kirk and Molly.]
Devon: The president of France and that girl who went out with Mick Jagger.
Stainer: He knows about wine! And he has a French accent! He could probably french-kiss like a motherfucker.

Kirk: Stainer, I know you don't like her very much.
Stainer: Nooo, no. I hate her. In fact, the day you broke up with her I marked that down on my calendar as a day of rejoicement. I'm going to celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, we smash it.

Stainer: TSA, motherfucker!

Stainer: Maybe you have a rich benefactor who's trying to set you up before you die. Like Great Expectations. Have you read that book?
Kirk: No.
Stainer: It's so weird!

Stainer: You have to admit, Marnie was kind of a skank [turns around to see Marnie.] Oh, Marnie. Uh, we were just talking about the name Marnie and how it's unfortunate that it's not more common.
Marnie: Fuck you, Stainer.
Stainer: Ah, you didn't let me finish. More common for skanks.

Stainer: You do realize what's happening? She's setting you up with the bitchy friend.
Kirk: Patty's not a bitch, she's just different.
Stainer: Yeah, different in that she's a bitch and other people aren't.