Quotes from Tina Fey movies and TV shows

Liz Lemon: I know who I am. I know I'm not the funnest person in the group. I'm not the one you call when you want to go clubbing on the town and party dance all night.
Jack: Why are you speaking like a Persian immigrant?

Jack: We are lovers.
Liz Lemon: That word bums me out unless it's between the words "meat" and "pizza."

Liz Lemon: Hey, nerds! Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.

Liz Lemon: You wanna party? It's $500 for kissing and $10,000 for snuggling. End of list.

Tracy Jordan: So what's your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz Lemon: I pretty much do whatever Oprah tells me to do.

Jack: Lemon, I'm impressed. You're beginning to think like a businessman.
Liz Lemon: A businesswoman.
Jack: I don't think that's a word.

Liz Lemon: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after 6 o'clock Lemon. What am I, a farmer?

Liz Lemon: Shut it down, dealbreaker.

Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits: "America's Next Top Pirate", "Are You Stronger Than a Dog?", "milf Island "
Liz Lemon: "milf Island"?
Jack: Twenty-five super-hot moms, 50 eighth-grade boys, no rules.
Liz Lemon: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring milf.

Claire Foster: Honey, If I'm gonna get whacked off, I...
[Phil laughs.]
Claire Foster: What are you smiling about?
Phil Foster: No, no, we might get bumped off. We're not going to get whacked off.
Claire Foster: I think we are!

Mr. Duvall: So, uh... How was your summer?
Ms. Norbury: I got divorced.
Mr. Duvall: Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
Ms. Norbury: I win.

Roxanne Ritchie: So that's it then? You're just giving up?
Megamind: I'm the bad guy. I don't save the day, I don't fly off into the sunset and I don't get the girl. I'm going home.

Kate Ellis: I wish being gay was a choice, because I always did like that shorts and boots look.
Maura Ellis: Yeah I dunno, for me the deal breaker might be the eating of the pussy.
Kate Ellis: Oh really? 'Cause for me, it would just be the fucking unbearable amount of talking.

Kate Ellis: Hey. Lollapazuzu, I'm partying now. You ready for me?
Pazuzu: I've been ready. My safe word is "keep going."

Maura Ellis: I've been thinking.
Kate Ellis: Why?

Kate Ellis: What kind of last name is Geernt? Geernt. Sounds like a queef on a yoga ball.

Kate Ellis: Do you have any kids?
Pazuzu: I'm sure I do.

Kate Ellis: You're so full of shit, I'm gonna buy you Pull-Ups.

Kate Ellis: You know, I never met a Brayla before.
Brayla: I know like three.
Kate Ellis: Oh, so you're trending. God bless.

Kate Ellis: I'm not a hothead, I'm brassy.