Quotes from Sacha Baron Cohen movies and TV shows

Ali G: Sorry I iz late, bu dere was a documentry on about monkeys.

Ali G: Dat's no prozzie, dat's me ho.

Ali G: Talk to the hand, 'cos the face ain't listening.

Ali G: I'm not Ali A, not Ali B, Ali C, Ali D, Ali E, Ali F... but... Ali G.

Ali G: R.E.S.T.E.C.P! Do ya even know wha it spellz?
Cabinet M.P.: Restecp?
Ali G: Yes, Restecp. 'Owz anyone out there meant to restecp each otha? If you lot in 'ere, don't even start restecpa-ing one another.

Ali G: And I put it to you... that you sucked off a 'orse.

Ali G: If you iz watching dis in da UK, you may remember me from da telly. If you iz in Belgium... you iz living in a shit hole.

Ali G: You wanna know 'ow I make diz country bettah? Iz simple, two words: keep it real.
Cabinet M.P.: That's three words.
Ali G: Don't be a spannah, it ain't a real word. It's short for innit, innit?

Ali G: He iz a criminal! And not even da good type wot deals drugs and does drive bys.

Ali G: Me Julie, will you make me the happiest guy in the world?
Me Julie: Yes, Ali. Yes I will.
Ali G: Good. Let me shag her, then.

[Finds Barbie at a yard sale.]
Borat: Is this the owner of the house? Did you shrink her? Please Gypsy lady don't shrink me, I just want your tears.

Borat: We didn't fly, just in case the jews repeated their attack of 9/11.

Borat: My daughter is gift to someone close to the throne.

Borat: Michael Penis, I brought girl for you.

Borat: About a year ago I release movie film which brought great shame to Kazakhstan. But now I was instruct to return to Yankee Land to carry out secret mission.

Borat: Michael Penis, I brought girl for you!

Bruno: How do you defend yourself against a man with a dildo?

Zoey: The police here are such fascists!
General Aladeen: Yeah right, and not in a good way.

General Aladeen: Is there any way you could lend me some money? Maybe... 20 million dollars?

General Aladeen: Sub Saharan, can you have 150 child warriors here by 5:00pm?