Quotes from Roger Bart movies and TV shows

Stuart: Isn't it bad luck to toast with water?
Todd: Yeah. Bad luck for whoever meets us today.

Stuart: I am strong. I am fucking Hercules.

Stuart: Do you think we're sick?
Todd: Fuck no. Dude, you look anywhere in the world where there's no law... whether it's fucking Chad or New Orleans... and this is the shit people are doing, bro. We're the normal ones.
Stuart: Any idea what you're gonna do in there?
Todd: You don't even wanna know. You don't even wanna know.

Stuart: Your friend looks like she's having fun.
Beth: Yeah. I get to listen to them have sex later.
Stuart: Can we switch? I'm over at the Dvorzak hotel and it's probably been three centuries since anybody's had sex over there.

Beth: What's the code?
Stuart: When's your birthday?
Beth: That's fucking sick.