Quotes from Reese Witherspoon movies and TV shows

Patrick Bateman: I think, um, Evelyn that, uh, we've lost touch.
Evelyn Williams: Why? What's wrong?
Patrick Bateman: I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale can not be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.

Patrick Bateman: I don't think we should see each other.
Evelyn Williams: But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I don't think it would work. You have a little something...
Patrick Bateman: I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I thought about that. You can have'em.

Lissa: I've built up a certain tolerance for your fuck-ups.

Nick: We're fucked.
Lissa: You're telling me.

Pam Hobbs: I don't know anymore.
Ron Lax: Neither do I. But I know in my heart that Jason, Jessie, and Damien did not do this.

Tracy Flick: I can't wait to start campaigning.
Jim McAllister: Ah, well, it should be easy for you, so far no competition.
Tracy Flick: Yeah, but you know, Coca-Cola is by far the world's number one soft drink and they spend more money than anybody on advertising. I guess that's how come they stay number one.

Nicole Walker: Everybody says one thing and then does another.

David McCall: You're not dancing.
Nicole Walker: I know.

Nicole Walker: Isn't this the car they stopped making 'cause it, I don't know, blows up or something?
David McCall: Guess that's why I got her.

Kate: Cassie! That marker in your mouth, I peed on it.

Vanessa: Ho-ly shit! Well look who got beaten with the ugly stick. Bob, is that you? My God, I can't believe such an itty bitty gun could make such a big mess out of someone! You are so ugly Bob! Oh and hey I heard you have one of those poop bags where the shit comes out the side, you're just a big old shitbag aren't you Bob! I hope you think of me every time you shit in that thing, motherfucker!

Vanessa: What, you're gonna do sex to me when I'm dead?

Vanessa: Well you don't have to worry about him anymore. I took care of him.
Detective: Mr. Wolverton is in critical condition, but he's not dead.
Vanessa: Oh, yeah right. I shot him so many times.

[To Rhonda's sexual advances.]
Vanessa: All right, I'll make out with you. But no fucking, 'cause I'm straight.

Rhonda: I don't get how a person could go through their whole lives never being into girls. I just... I love girls.
Vanessa: You can keep 'em.

Guard: You didn't have to kill me!
Vanessa: I didn't kill you, you dirty little pervert, now give me your car keys before I cut your pecker off!

News Reporter: Officer Cooper stands at four feet, 11 inches.
Cooper: Oh, come on.
News Reporter: The other suspect, a 45-year-old Latino woman.
Daniella Riva: 45? My madre.
News Reporter: Officer Cooper is four feet, nine inches.
Cooper: I am five-foot, two.
News Reporter: Traveling with a 50-year-old suspect.

Randy: I know who you are. You all are wanted.
Cooper: I am a police officer. Mrs. Riva, she's a federal witness in my protective custody. Everybody in this state is looking for her, dirty cops and the cartel. We need a couple hours to lie low. Now, can you help us with that?
Randy: I kind of like your smile.

Cooper: Mrs. Riva, I'm Officer Cooper. I'm here to escort you to Dallas. You must have not seen me.
Daniella Riva: Oh, I saw you. I was trying to hit your flat ass.
Cooper: Mrs. Riva, I am a police officer.
Daniella Riva: Oh please! Look at you! You are teeny tiny! You look like a little dog that I can put in my purse.
Cooper: I can assure you, ma'am, that I meet the minimum height requirement of an adult female my weight.

Cooper: Randy?
Randy: Whoa, hey.
Cooper: Penis! Oh my God! Penis.
Randy: I'm going to get.