Quotes from Paul Rudd movies and TV shows

David: Know how I know you're gay? You like Coldplay.

David: You know how I know you're gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says "I like it when balls are in my face."

Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.
Champ Kind: Champ Kind.
Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.
Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.
Brick Tamland: Brian.
Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.
Brick Tamland: Veronica.

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast!
Brian Fantana: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yea, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yea, there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by, and lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh!
Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire, my lady.
Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper, filled with Indian food! Oh, excuse me.
Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people.
Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
News worker: Smells like Bigfoot's dick!

Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going.
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made love for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it!

Brian Fantana: That was one crazy party. I am hung over.
Champ Kind: I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would NOT stop screaming.
Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.

Champ Kind: What's it like, Ron?
Ron Burgundy: The intimate times? Outta sight, my man.
Brian Fantana: No, the other thing - love.
Brick Tamland: Yeah, what is that?

[Arguing against women in the newsroom.]
Brick Tamland: I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.

Brian Fantana: Ron, I know it sounds harsh, but God does not want her to live.

Ron Burgundy: Brian, any idea what you might do next?
Brian Fantana: Gonna head back to L.A. I got a good group of buddies out there. O.J. Simpson. Phil Spector. Robert Blake.
Ron: Sounds like a fun crew.
Brian: We go out cruising chicks. Call ourselves the "Ladykillers."
Ron: I love that name. You should get it on the back of matching jackets.

Bishop73

Scott Lang: Pick on someone your own size.

Scott Lang: My days of breaking into places and stealing shit are over! What do you need me to do?
Hank Pym: I want you to break in a place and steal some shit.
Scott Lang: Makes sense.

Hank Pym: Scott, I need you to be the Ant-Man.
Scott Lang: One question... Is it too late to change the name?

Scott Lang: Sorry I'm late, I was saving the world. You know how it is.

Scott Lang: I didn't steal anything! I was returning something I stole.

Bishop73

Hank Pym: Hiya, champ, how was school today?
Scott Lang: Aw, ha ha ha! Alright, get your jokes out now, can you fix the suit?
Hope van Dyne: So cranky.
Hank Pym: You want a juice box and some string cheese?
Scott Lang: Do you really have that?

Scott Lang: Anyone seen a Southern gentleman carrying a building?

Scott Lang: Work-in-progress my ass.

Scott Lang: I do some dumb things, and the people I love the most - they pay the price.