Lucy Shepherd: Do you see it as part of your job to torture me?
President Andrew Shepherd: No, just one of the perks.
President Andrew Shepherd: You have concerns?
Sydney Ellen Wade: Yes. Not many. A few. One. I have one concern.
President Andrew Shepherd: This wouldn't have to do with the fact that one of us is president?
President Andrew Shepherd: For reasons passing understanding, people do not relate guns to gun-related crime.
President Andrew Shepherd: She's questioning your loyalty.
Lewis Rothschild: Hell, I question it all the time.
Oren Little: And when you sing "Cry Me a River," it doesn't have to be the whole river.
Oren Little: I slept with Leah.
Claire: Whoa. You did mess up.
Oren Little: Well, the sex was actually pretty good, but.
Claire: ...but you left immediately after. Right?
Oren Little: How'd you know that?
Claire: You think you invented men being assholes?
Oren Little: Wanna watch some TV?
Sarah: Sure.
Oren Little: I don't watch animation, MTV, bravo, Oprah, reruns or sitcoms. What do you wanna watch?
Sarah: Can we watch "Duck Dynasty"?
Oren Little: What station is it on?
Sarah: A&E.
Oren Little: You have a beautiful voice, particularly when you make it all the way through a song.
Scott Lang: My days of breaking into places and stealing shit are over! What do you need me to do?
Hank Pym: I want you to break in a place and steal some shit.
Scott Lang: Makes sense.
Hank Pym: Scott, I need you to be the Ant-Man.
Scott Lang: One question... Is it too late to change the name?
Hank Pym: Hiya, champ, how was school today?
Scott Lang: Aw, ha ha ha! Alright, get your jokes out now, can you fix the suit?
Hope van Dyne: So cranky.
Hank Pym: You want a juice box and some string cheese?
Scott Lang: Do you really have that?
Dr. Hank Pym: Are you going to keep staring at each other until they start shooting at us?
Madec: I kill you.
Nick Conklin: Now, you got a counterfeiting ring goin' on and you should talk to your partner before you go to the suits. So fuck you very much.
Nick Conklin: I usually get kissed before I get fucked.
Nick Conklin: One good hand job deserves another.
Nick Conklin: A couple of guys I used to work with in the department took some money from some drug dealers. No big deal.
Matsumoto Masahiro: They stole?
Nick Conklin: They liberated funds.
Matsumoto Masahiro: Theft is theft. There is no gray area.
Nick Conklin: Hey Matsu, New York is one big gray area.
Nick Conklin: If you pull it, you better use it.
Nick Conklin: Sugai-san, I am the solution... to your problems.
Berg, Internal Affairs: That's a king-sized nut. I admire your thrift.
Nick Conklin: Yeah, well, life's a bitch.
Crown, Internal Affairs: We did the math, Hero. You're twenty grand in the hole a month. You're into the shylocks, Conklin, you're takin'.
Nick Conklin: Look, you wanna charge me, you charge me, okay? You wanna jerk off, you go back to your office.
