Quotes from John Cusack movies and TV shows - page 2 of 6

Craig Schwartz: You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won't allow it... because I raise issues.

First J.M. Inc. Customer: Now when you say that I can be somebody else, whaddya mean exactly?
Craig Schwartz: Well, we mean exactly that. We can put you inside someone else's body, for fifteen minutes.
First J.M. Inc. Customer: Can I be anybody that I wanna be?
Craig Schwartz: Well, you... actually.
Maxine: You can be John Malkovich.
First J.M. Inc. Customer: Perfect! It's... my... second choice, but it's wonderful. I'm a fat man. I'm sad and I.
Maxine: Two hundred dollars.

Craig Schwartz: I've fallen in love, and this is what people who've fallen in love look like.
Maxine: Well, you picked the unrequited variety. It's very bad for the skin.

Dr. Lester: Any questions?
Craig Schwartz: Just one. Why are these ceilings so low?
Dr. Lester: Low overhead, my boy - we pass the savings on to you! But seriously, that'll all be covered in the orientation.

Lotte Schwartz: We love her, Craig.
Craig Schwartz: We?
Lotte Schwartz: John and me.
Craig Schwartz: Don't forget about me.
Lotte Schwartz: Well you have a Maxine action figure to play with.

John Malkovich: I have seen a world that no man should see.
Craig Schwartz: Really? Because for most people it's a rather enjoyable experience.

Craig Schwartz: I was thinking about what you were saying the other day, about the orientation film being bullshit.
Maxine: Yes?
Craig Schwartz: I think maybe you're on to something.
Maxine: And fifty other lines to get into a girl's pants.

Craig Schwartz: Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.

Monique Junot: He keeps putting his testicles all over me.
Lane Meyer: Excuse me?
Monique Junot: You know, like octopus? Testicles?
Lane Meyer: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N-T. Big difference.

Helen Sinclair: Two martinis please, very dry.
David Shayne: How'd you know what I drank?
Helen Sinclair: Oh, you want one too? Three.

Helen Sinclair: No, no, don't speak. Don't speak. Please don't speak. Please don't speak. No. No. No. Go. Go, gentle Scorpio, go. Your Pisces wishes you every happy return.
David Shayne: Just one.
Helen Sinclair: Don't speak.

Sheldon Flender: You, you, you're all missing the point, the point is I can give pleasure many times a day.
Rita: Oh, now, really Flender, what does quantity got to do with it?
Sheldon Flender: Quantity, quantity affects quality.
David Shayne: Says who?
Sheldon Flender: Karl Marx.
Rita: Oh, so now we're talking economics.
Sheldon Flender: Sex is economics.

Helen Sinclair: Make love to me.
David Shayne: Here? Now?
Helen Sinclair: I see no reason to wait.
David Shayne: Jerome Kern is on the other side of the door.
Helen Sinclair: Yes, he's a wonderful composer. You'll have to meet him. Now hang up your pants.

Olive: Why do you have to be so masso... masso.
David Shayne: Masochistic.
Olive: Masochistic? What the does that mean?
David Shayne: It means someone who enjoys pain.
Olive: Enjoys pain? What is she, retarded?

David Shayne: I studied playwrighting with every teacher, I read every book.
Cheech: Let me tell you somethin' about teachers. I hate teachers. Those blue-haired bitches used to whack us with rulers. Forget teachers.

David Shayne: Maybe Olive's got stage fright. Maybe she won't show.
Julian Marx: Not Olive. That dame doesn't have a nerve in her body. I don't think her spinal cord touches her brain.

David Shayne: You thought my first draft was c-cerebral and tepid?
Helen Sinclair: Only the plot and the dialogue. But this.
David Shayne: Was-was-was there nothing in the original draft that you feel was worth saving?
Helen Sinclair: The stage directions were lucid. Best I've ever seen... and the color of the binder. Good choice.
David Shayne: Thank you. I've always had a flair for stage directions.

Nick: Sorry you guys had to hear that. Some problems with the firm.
David Shayne: Really? What type of firm is it, Nick?
Nick: It's a "don't stick your nose in other people's business and it won't get broken" type of firm.

Vince Larkin: Contingency plans for something like this don't exist. The situation's never been contemplated.
Duncan Malloy: Well, you better start contemplating because this is a situation that needs to get unfucked right now!

Larkin: That's William Bedford, aka, Billy Bedlam.
Simms: The mass murderer?
Larkin: The same. He caught his wife in bed with another man. Left her alone. Drove four towns over to his wife's family's house. Killed her parents, her brothers, her sisters, even her dog.