Quotes from John Cho movies and TV shows

Harold: Dude, we're so high right now!
Kumar: We're not low!

Harold: Did Doogie Houser just steal my fucking car?

Kumar: Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. Prick.
Neil Patrick Harris: [looks down to count money.] Here's 80 for the meal, and 200 for the car
Harold: What did you do to my car?
Neil Patrick Harris: I made some love stains in the back. You'll see.

Harold: Oh, nice. 16 Candles is on, man.
Kumar: And the award for the least heterosexual statement ever made in this apartment goes to... Harold Lee! Come on down, man! Take a bow!
Harold: Shut up, man. It's a classic.

Harold: I am so hungry. I'm gonna eat, like,20 of those burgers, man.
Kumar: Dude, fuckin' I will see your 20 burgers and raise you 5 orders of fries.

Harold: Are those my scissors? I trim my nose hair with those.
Kumar: Dude... I've been cutting my ass hair with these.

David Kim: I didn't know her. I didn't know my daughter.

Harold: Koreans have killed his mother and now his tree. Christmas is ruined.

Harold: You still haven't explained the gay thing.
Kumar: You're not gay, motherfucker.
Harold: At all.
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah that's something us magicians like to call misdirection. Just a little something I picked up from my man, Clay Aiken.
Kumar: What? Clay Aiken's not gay?
Neil Patrick Harris: Are you kidding me? Clay's the biggest coos hound I know. That guy gets mad gash.

Harold: I shot Santa in the face! He's real! And I shot him in the face.

Harold: I thought smoking weed was supposed to stop fertility. That's why I quit.
Kumar: Yeah? Well, tell that to Snoop's kids.