Marty: I, um, I guess I have some issues.
Olivia: You do?
Marty: You know, people sort of, problems. I have them.
Quotes from Jennifer Aniston movies and TV shows - page 2 of 2
Edie: Why don't you go find your own husband, Olivia?
Olivia: I would if I fucking could, Edie.
Julia Harris: Well Shabbat Shalom, somebody's circumcised!
Julia Harris: I bet you're no shrimp in the cocktail department, Dale.
Julia Harris: Have you ever done it in a dentist's chair?
Nick Hendricks: Well, you go there, and I'll just go to the men's room for a minute.
Julia Harris: You're quite welcome to do that on me.
Nick Hendricks: Actually, it's...uh... [holds up two fingers].
Julia Harris: And?
Katherine: I'm just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding.
Eloise: Can I say something? And, and this comes from a place of total humility. With the acknowledgment that my life is a day-by-day experiment in... really bad decisions. But, er... you're really messed up.
Eloise: If you had a brain in either head, you'd know that I'm doing what's best for both of us.
Audrey Spitz: Okay. What's that?
Charles Cavendish: That is the Quince dagger. Chinese steel, jewels from across the Orient. A gift to the family from Marco Polo. Or so the legend says.
Audrey Spitz: God. Nick's grandmother gave us a toaster from Sears. Or so the legend says.
Carol Vanstone: Get me on any god damn plane, all right? I have enough miles to orbit the sun.
Airline Concierge: I'm sorry, ma'am. All flights are grounded until the snow clears. There's nothing more I can do.
Carol Vanstone: Well, refer me to someone who can do something.
Airline Concierge: That would be God, ma'am.
Joanna: How dare you judge me! You are just this penny-stealing, wannabe criminal man.
Peter Gibbons: Well, that may be, but at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
Darcy: You're in advertising, Kate: I didn't lie - I sold.
Kassie Larson: Would you please stop having sex with your food?
Kassie Larson: I'm ready to do it now. Life is in session.
Kassie Larson: Would you please not Wally this into a situation worse than it already is.
Wally Mars: Hang on, did you just use my name as a verb?
Kassie Larson: I'm in the market for semen, and.
Wally Mars: And?
Kassie Larson: I need you to help me find some.
Rose O'Reilly: You're making $250,000 and giving me only $30,000?
Casey Mathis: $30,000? I'm only getting $1,000!
Kenny Rossmore: You guys are getting paid?
Rose O'Reilly: You're such a dick. Have fun dying alone, jerk.
David Clark: Yeah, have fun digging out those singles from your crotch!
Rose O'Reilly: My crotch only takes twenties, David.