Strip Club Manager: I need a lap dance, table 5. Donât get too close, the guy smells like asparagus pee and heâs got a hook hand.
Kenny Rossmore: Hey, David.
David Clark: Hi, Kenny.
Kenny Rossmore: So, I heard you and Mrs. O'Reilly fighting.
David Clark: It's called flirting, Kenny. You'll learn about it in college. What the hell are you doing up? It's almost two. Where's your mom?
Kenny Rossmore: Uh, she went for a drink with a friend.
David Clark: When?
Kenny Rossmore: Last week.
Styist: OK, what are we doing today?
David Clark: Yeah. I say, give me somethin' that says "I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour and a half to some bullshit job where my jag-off boss expects me to kiss his balls all day just so I can afford to keep my ungrateful, screaming kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit, and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos, until the day I get up the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth."
Middle Aged Man: [Pointing to himself.] Right here.
David Clark: Yeah. That's it. That's the one.