Quotes from Jeff Bridges movies and TV shows

Jake Wise: Look, I was a bit of an asshole. You know, I got crazy and I popped her a few times, she came after me with a knife. Just missed my balls.
Terry Brogan: And was she going for them?
Jake Wise: Don't they all?

Terry Brogan: So what is it you don't like exactly, football players, tacos, or beer?
Jessie Wyler: I like tacos and beer.

Jack Kelson: Keep my name outta your mouth.

Michael Faraday: You can't ask government to be infallible, but you can ask it to be accountable.
Oliver Lang: I can ask it to be honest.
Michael Faraday: You know, when Leah died, all I wanted was someone to tell me, "We made a mistake." You know?"We made a mistake. Your wife suffered for it, and we'd take it back a hundred times if we could." But they don't say that. She would've.

Oliver Lang: I'm a messenger Michael, I'm a messenger! There's millions of us, waiting to take up arms, ready to spread the word... millions of us.
Michael Faraday: No! The government's not who you're killing.
Oliver Lang: Yes. Yes... they'll pay. They'll pay for their sins. Their lies.
Michael Faraday: You're killing children! Children die.
Oliver Lang: Children... I know that. This is war, Michael. In a war, children die.

Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

The Dude: Where's the fucking money, Lebowski?

The Dude: Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron.

The Dude: At least I'm housebroken.

The Dude: Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

Jackie Treehorn: Refill?
The Dude: Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... With nail polish. These fucking amateurs.

The Dude: Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man.
Blond Treehorn Thug: Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny.
The Dude: My... My wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm fucking married? The toilet seat's up, man!

The Dude: My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.

The Dude: This is the fuckin' guy! I can find this fuckin' Lebowski guy!
Donny: His name's Lebowski? That's your name, Dude!

The Dude: So, if you could just uh, write me a check for my ten percent of half a million, five grand.

Bishop73

The Dude: Yeah, well. The Dude abides.
The Stranger: The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals.

Jackie Treehorn: People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
The Dude: On you maybe.

The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?

Jackie Treehorn: Interactive erotic software. The wave of the future, Dude. One hundred percent electronic!
The Dude: Yeah well, I still jerk off manually.